Place and Time Workshop

Arija:

Vignette style worked great for this paper. I loved the way you brought together three moments of your first days being at the same camp. All three moments are first times, except at different times and we can see the difference as well. I would just go back and re read your paper to catch little grammatical errors. Also make sure to format your heading to mla and also add a title, maybe like "First day(s) of camp".

Takaia:

The personal narrative aspect of this paper really works well. Love the transitions and descriptions from the different houses, but still brought it back to the shared bunk bed and bedroom theme. I think the problem here is the same as Arija's, to just look back at your paper and re read it to catch the little grammatical errors. Your title works well too, but maybe could be a little more specific. Other then that, just try to make sure you hit the word count, I think your papers great!